The Lies We Lie Behind

I'd rather Nikola Tesla myself and live inside my mind and come out of my prison rising like the sunrise you missed wasting your time drinking the night, popping pills, and whatever helps you live inside of your own box built by those with laughter, so much money in their pockets their pants sag more than a pretend solipsistic sick mechanized and programmed to idolize celebrities, spend your time watching people's live "reality" TV shows that are spreading more than the death and the disease after katrina when the rescue teams never showed, nothing but disaster. They said just relax, help is coming let's be friends but fuck that, the racism never ends. Is it too much to ask? Not really, but you were never that good at playing pretend. Maybe after some time, I can waste my time in pointless conversation. For the first time in my life, my heart's actually open, my words, brutally spoken, this is probably too open, but like every has always said "You're too fucking honest, take down that shit!" Take this as an omen, good or bad, there will be a moment when you think about the time you had and hopefully you smile because despite the way the world treated me, I still love the world in a Bonnie and Clyde just took some cyanide kinda style. Hopefully I'll see again in a while but I'll probably have to wait until I'm done practicing my smile. What am I talking about.. I always fucking smile, I've hit the ground so many times it just leaves me in laughter. So enjoy your bubble, your humbled rubble of a portrait made with plaster because I don't give a fuck what you think, I think for myself, and I'll stay inside this prison until I'm ready to breathe again but for now, just stop the questions, I'm not your fucking answer. I don't write this way just to prance around the "eternity of divinity" looking for my answer to the truth some like dumbfuck metamorphosed yogi trend setting starbucks drinking tube. I make my own paths and when I hit a dead end I drive right through it as if it was just another best friend, another attempted "jump in front of random car" suicide in New York City, the city of the shitty and gritty, oh but it's so so lovely until the policemen beat innocent people, animals, and children and then scream "SHUT OFF YOUR FUCKING CAMERAS!!!" You spend your day pretending to live while people suffer endlessly and you're nothing but puppetry, a piece of seven sin indifference, just another morning after hangover sleeping through unborn existence. I'd rather wear a noose then a tie just in case I forget to live my life through honesty and honestly anyone who thinks I'm too honest? Now that's some fucking irony. What's the fucking point of living if you don't speak truth and live. Hannibal, he was just a cannibal, with a mouth sewn shut that only speaks in between text messaging and endless selfies, sound familiar? Just like this fucking waste of time I spent writing this fucking rhyme with intent to help you understand but most of you won't read this because it's too fucking long and too many words for you too handle. So go do the usual, buy yourself another handle, douse yourself in alcohol and drown yourself in candles at least you'll burn and float into something that might eventually be worth something placed onto a mantle, most just wait for heaven because they're too afraid of death so they cling to religious afterlife because it's hard to accept that there may be nothing after but you'll never really see it until the day it happens, so what's the point of living if you're just waiting for the question, you might as well speed up the process and inject yourself with cancer. I'm going to live my life the way I choose no matter what the world says and I'll do it gladly with a smile and my laughter. Girls always liked my laughter.