Car Crash

Car crash... free will is a funny thing, you're never really sure what it could bring, my emotions are a bit wrecked, my thoughts confused, I'm not sure what to do, but coming so close to death today afterwards felt as if I had taken my first breath, it's hard to write tonight, I'm just wondering why I'm still alive and didn't die, maybe life is a storybook full of characters and fairytales, but death does not belong in this world, why does everything eventually end? It's just not right for people to die, thinking about this almost makes me want to cry, which if you know me is quite a surprise, Birth, a beginning to an end, death, just a word, but more powerful than the rest, I'm exhausted and I've never felt this fear before, it's beginning to make me wonder and it makes me unsure, I've realized how easy it is to die, straight to the ending in the blink of an eye, but maybe now I will be more careful, but I doubt that, it's just the way I am, always bending the laws of the heart as far as I can, so far, so close, so lost, but I still bring a toast to life, "You're a wondrous thing, confusing at times, every once in a while make sense, but you are far more amazing than anything else, Life can't really be defined because your life like everyone else's is different from mine." No matter what you do, you'll never find love, it will only find you, but it's hard to wait when it's all that you know, all that you want, and the basis of your soul, I made a bad choice today that almost led me to death but for some reason God is still saving my last breath, I'm thankful but also confused, I'm not sure why but somehow I knew that what I would do, wouldn't be the last, which is why I kept pushing through, it's not the things we do that make us who we are but the way we do them, I'm glad this wasn't the end, because there are so many things I've yet to begin, family is the most important thing in the world, they'll always stand by you, through sickness and health, even heaven and hell, contradicting statements from my vivid imaginations are caused by wrongs I've done and the ways I have changed them, I've been wanting to stop writing, my fingers are cramping, but being so close to death, got my imagination going, Never knowing, Never knowing, Where life is going, Is like reading a story, That never gets boring.